Day 109

It's 10pm. Do you know where your children are? I remember that was always said at the head of the 10 o'clock news every night when I was a kid. I really think it was a public service attempting to shame parents who weren't really parenting back in the day. I guess it didn't work. Since I don't usually watch TV at home, I wouldn't know what is generally said before the news each night anymore, but when I travel I surf the channels. I guess It's hard to be alone and the TV provides lots of noise, which simulates company.

I love travel, and I used to do it by myself all the time. Now, I don't want to travel alone anymore. Since I want the people around me to be happy, I won't force someone to do something they hate. With business travel, I only have to be alone at night and the trips are usually short. With leisure travel, I want company. Queue my sister. I can't wait to take our next trip!

So today was great at work and my corporate office is more than I thought it might be. Tomorrow is the day my team will learn about new responsibilities.  Ooh! I can't wait.  We are are known as the "behind the Scenes" team, so we've tentatively named ourselves "The Grips."  We'll give a new meaning to "Get A Grip!"

Now, it's time for me to get some rest. Until tomorrow when I'll have another great day in Connecticut, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 108

Howdy from the tiny state of Connecticut, where as of today it is against the law to touch the belly of a pregnant woman without her concent. In the words of my long, dead mother, "Keep your hands to yourself!" In my opinion this is not hard. Now, can everyone just play nice, please?

My trip was uneventful. I'm just wiped out! Most of the time I was waiting, but I'm here and ready to go! Now, I had a weird food day, as I had no lunch, but I ate here at the hotel and had a bunless burger with a salad.  I'm just really full. I'll get up at 5:45am so I can be ready to go down for breakfast by 6:45am and then will be picked up at 7:45am.

My room is one of the most comfortable guest rooms I've ever had and I've slept in many guest rooms! I'll let you know more about it tomorrow after I've slept in the bed. Since I'm tired I'm going to do that now.  So until tomorrow, when I'll show you some photos of my trip, sweet dreams, Sweeties!! 

Day 107

Pack, pack and more packing here as I prepare to travel. Actually, as I write this (before 9am) I haven't started the dreaded packing yet, but I have checked in for my flight which is at 8:41am tomorrow. I was even able to snag an isle seat (had originally booked a center seat) for myself, which is great. The awful center seat is just not great for me or anyone else flying next to me either, but you take what you can get, so if you need a good reason to be first checking in, this is it. You can sometimes snag a better seat if you check-in early!

As I worked at my desk this morning I noticed someone going in and out the front door of the house. Little did I know that that someone was about cutting roses from one of the bushes in our front yard for me! How sweet! Thank you!!! I know it sounds crazy, but the rose bushes are putting out more blooms...this is Texas, after all. Here is what he brought me this morning:

I don't think the camera does the color justice. They are hot pink and don't even look close to that here. The vase is his own design: A tall shot glass inside a highball glass with three squares of styrofoam to keep the shot glass stable. Genius! I will enjoy these all day, as I get myself ready to travel. I'll put one of the photos as my cell phone wallpaper so I have them with me on my trip!

Today I'm so busy that I don't think I'll have too much trouble with food. I do have to go out to the bank teller machine and get some cash and may stop at the grocery store for a few more items for the boys, but other than that, I think I'm good to go. The goal is to get to bed at about 8:30pm tonight so that I can rise at 4am and be ready to leave the house with my chauffeur at 6am. My flight isn't until after 8:30am, but I've learned that when it comes to travel by airplane the following applies:

To be early is to be on-time. To be on-time, is to be LATE!

I don't do late. It just isn't my nature to be unconcerned about time. It's a product of adulthood, I think. As I look back at my life, I can honestly say that somewhere along the way I became obsessed with being on-time. If I'm late somewhere, there is something terribly wrong. Oh well, I am what I am!

The rest of today will be about getting ready for tomorrow. Although I prefer to blog later, before bed, I need to be done with this now. So, until tomorrow, when I'll be blogging from Stamford, CT with the power of my iPad, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 106

We are creeping ever closer to day 121 when I will need to put on the next set of clothing in a smaller size, take photos and go out in the outfit. Will I be successful? Will I fall and skin my knees and have to get up, brush myself off and keep going?? Will the fat finally decided that this house is not comfortable enough and take up residence elsewhere??? Well, who knows but the work continues over here and I know that I'm doing okay. Even with the occasional hiccup, I'm still in a much better place physically and mentally than I was 106 days ago. Heck! I've said it before, I'm not a machine!!

I've done errand after errand today trying to get myself ready for travel on Monday. Next is laundry and I'll do it tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow. That way I can easily pack tomorrow. I also need to visit the bank and get some cash. You can't take a trip without tip money in hand! So, still more to do today. I have a couple of apps that I use on my smart phones to help keep me organized. Yes, I said phones, as in more than one. I have to carry and iPhone for work and I have an LG L9 as my personal phone. As you know, I love Apple products and I do love the iPhone, but I really like the Android. On the iPhone the list app I use is Clear. That app is not made for the Android, so on that phone I use an app called Koalcat's Clear. Both are great apps for making lists of any kind. Today, they are 'to do' lists.

Although I'm looking forward to me business trip and meetings with my new team, I can't help but look forward even more to the trip with my sister, which is coming up week after next. In fact, I believe I'm on day 121 the Sunday I come back home from the Las Vegas trip. Oh, Lord! I hope I am able to keep it all together while I'm gone. I really want to be successful. The spirit is mighty, but the flesh is weak...sometimes.

I invested some time in my nails and completed my manicure. I'm calling these nails, 'Rosie The Sparkler.' Here is what they look like:

I thought I wanted high contrast black and white nails for the week, but then I thought about this pretty English Rose nail 'foil' that I had and decided on this design. I'm bad about knocking rhinestones out of nail designs, so I'm probably going to regret this design about Wednesday of next week, but you can't live life in fear, so here we go! I think the nails are pretty and will serve me well next week.

I'm currently working on my Vegas nail design. Those nails will be black, white and red with silver accents and will have some references to cards, dice, hearts, spades, clubs and diamonds. I haven't decided exactly what they will look like, but I'll share pictures when I do. The nails above were really easy to do. I want the Vegas nails to be just as easy. We'll see what I come up with!

I've had a full day and it's time to get some rest. Until tomorrow when you'll learn about another fun filled day here in Nancyland, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 105

It's Friday, Friday, FRIDAY!!! I think this was a fantastic week, but I'm certainly glad that it's time for a weekend. There is lots to do before flight time on Monday, but I've already been at work getting ready. Since my travels will take me to a cooler location, I needed a new sweater and I scored BIG with a new black cardigan from JC Penney that is perfect. Not only that, but it was on sale for 45% off and I got an extra 15% off at the register! Can't beat that!! I'm feeling lots better and I know I won't be too cool now. I don't mind a little cool weather, but since I've traveled in the north east many times, I know how bone-chillingly cool it can become. Also, the last time I was up in New England in cooler weather, a well-meaning waiter at a restaurant who helped me off with my jacket at dinner one night, shouts as he lifts my jacket off my shoulders, "Are you warm enough in this?" Please! I think I can dress myself. I'm good with layers and with this new sweater and a stylish scarf, I'll look and feel great! The only thing I need now is some hosiery. I'll be off shopping for that tomorrow...yuck...shopping...but it has to be done. I checked out my drawer and since I don't wear hosiery much in Texas (too hot for it!) I don't have anything that will work with my skirts. Wish me luck (don't believe in it, but okay, wish it anyway) as I try to get what I want tomorrow.

I've been working on my packing list and my travel attire. Although I don't really like traveling in athletic shoes, they are really bulky and won't be available to me on the trip if I don't wear them. So, there is a distinct possibility that I will not have my most comfortable shoes along for this trip...I don't know yet. The real problem is the fact that you have to take your shoes off at the airport. Rats! I hate doing that!! I have decided that I want to wear mostly skirts on this trip (except when flying...that is definitely pants activity). I think it will be more acceptable at headquarters. Here in Texas, I can wear whatever I want to the office as long as I'm covered and have on undergarments. Not so at headquarters. No sneakers for sure, says my boss. So, I'm trying to make myself fit in well. That's really all I want; to blend in and just be that sweet lady from Texas that everyone wants to work with! (When I dream, I dream BIG! **smile**).

By the way, I had NO idea that JC Penney had so many nice things! I was a little overwhelmed by the selection and the prices were terrific. There were a few things that just looked cheap and nasty, but for the most part, I was happy with what I saw. The problem is, I HATE SHOPPING! I even had my sister on the phone with me the WHOLE time, just to keep me from running from the store with nothing to show for my effort. Thank HEAVEN ABOVE for Bluetooth headsets that let you talk without having to hold the dang phone to your ear the whole time! Isn't she sweet to stay on the phone with me and talk me down off the celling when I get all stressed out? She is a big time shopper, people! If anyone can find what you're looking for in a store, It's Gena Ann! I'd hire her in a heartbeat to do ALL my shopping if she were just here to do it for me!! I'd gladly pay her big bucks just so I'd never have to see the inside of another store, but then I'd miss all that time with her. She loves to shop and I just LOVE Gena Ann!! So, shopping is where we go.  I'm getting better! I actually bought a cute top to wear under the sweater and with the black pencil skirt I picked up at Walmart (who knew!?!) and a beautiful scarf to keep me warm. Had I not had Gena on the phone we may not have even had the sweater and I REALLY needed that. Thanks, sweetie Gena!!

I haven't been such a good girl today in the eating department. I ate bread today, which is really not good for me and I had a small portion of potato chips. My husband brought home a huge (Sam's Club size) bag of Lay's Cheesy Garlic Bread potato chips. OH...MY...WORD!?! Are you kidding me? I couldn't help myself. And you know what they say about Lay's potato chips? "You can't eat just one!" Well, they are right...I couldn't and I didn't, but I did keep it to the equivalent of a half portion. They were good. I don't know why I'm so hungry, but for my Saturday and Sunday meals, I am going to have MyFitFood meals w/out bread! I cannot eat bread anymore. Bread ADORES my waist and just makes me swell up like a cantaloupe! No, no, NO!! I will not have this. I think I may have lost a little ground over the last couple of days. Although it will be hard eating in restaurants over the next couple of weeks, it does pose one advantage; I won't have food sitting in a kitchen with easy access all the time.

No pictures for you today, but I would like to share another exercise video. YouTube has great options to keep your exercise program interesting. I love YouTube for lots of reason and make my own videos to post over there! Anyway, here is the exercise video I'll be doing from my hotel room each day while on the road. I hope you enjoy it!

Remember to make sure your physician is okay with getting exercise like this and then just follow along and do what you can. Have fun with it! Since life is a one-shot deal, you should always have fun. Anyway, that's it for me today. Until tomorrow when you'll probably hear about my new manicure or some other nonsense, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 104

Do you ever find yourself being nagged by a question, for which no answer exists...on any level; from anywhere?! This is me sometimes. In fact, today was one of those days. Being of an age (54 to be exact) I do lots of reflecting over my life and I wonder about what my life would have been like had a made a different decision here or there. This is one of those subjects where the questions involved have no answer, yet I keep asking the questions of myself. I think I just like thinking of all the possibilities! Yeah, that's it!!

One of the questions I pondered today was, "What would have become of me had I decided to go to college and complete a higher education?" Now, there is no answer to this question or better yet, there are an endless number of answers, which is worse! After many hours of thought on this I decided that all along life's way, I've had the freedom to decide what I wanted to do or what would happen to me. Sometimes the decisions seem almost too easy to make, but ultimately, I'm the one who decides. I decided that instead of a college education, I wanted to flee home (that's right...I didn't leave home, I fled) and see what it was like making it on my own. Maybe I thought I was going to suddenly become Mary Tyler Moore or something, but I decided and I made it happen. That is what I kept coming back to today as I thought about all of the decisions I've made over the years; everything that has happened to me, I made it so! As the product of two of the worst decision makers ever born, I think I've made a nice life for myself. In the words of my sister Gena, "I'm a happy person!!" Nowadays when I take the time to reflect on past decisions, I'm better about claiming my mistakes and working to glean some nugget of learning from the experience. In thinking about the question above, there is just no limit to what I might have done, but then again, I wouldn't be this Nancy in this world today, had I made different decisions. So, the life lesson I took away from today: Don't waste too much time trying to beat yourself up over the decisions you've made in the past. Use the time to look to the future instead and make a better path for yourself tomorrow. If you are like me and secretly wish you had made some different decisions, do some investigation on the subject and see if you can bring about what you desire for your future. It's okay to plan your future. In fact, it's what everyone should do. How will you know you've gotten where you want to go if you have no map or plan for getting there? Write a plan for the future and then execute against that plan. I call it, "Write your plan, work your plan!" Oh, honey!! I'm a planning addict!! Let me give you an example. I used to be the host of the family Thanksgiving Dinner each year (well, most years for awhile there) for Mr. Hemati's family. This is a major event where I would usually set a table for at least 12. For any king of party or get together like this I ALWAYS write an event plan. The plans were not fancy, I just used (and still do, by the way) a spiral notebook and wrote out by hand my plans. I would prepare the following:

• Grocery shopping plan
• A house cleaning/decorating plan
• A menu
• A cooking plan
• A serving plan
• A clean-up plan

These plans are always my map of what I need to do, when I need to start each segment and what to expect along the way. In 2009, we hosted the family for a Christmas breakfast. Breakfast is my FAVORITE meal to prepare and great for Christmas. Here are a few snaps of my plans for that event...yes, I still have them in the spiral!

I know you can't tell much from these crazy photographs, but I just wanted to make the point that there isn't a right or wrong way to do this. As you can see, there are lists of things in pencil and then I've marked things out in pen on the day. Plans are in pencil so I can erase as I make the plans, but on the day every other note and mark is in ink so I can tell the difference between plans and execution notes. Besides the spiral, pencil and pen, I used highlighters and post-it notes. Just get tools that you like, bring  them and your brain to the table and dream up whatever plans you like. Then, execute against that plan and I promise you, you'll get results and close to what you expected when you wrote your plan, too. Notice the follow-up note I made to myself on the page in the top right. In case you can't make it out, it says, "Party was a hit! Tired but feeling great! Merry Christmas, 2009!" The plans were made way in advance and I had things to do every day for the week running up to Christmas. These two spiral notebook pages kept me on track and in the end, I felt like I gave my best to my family. Part of my Christmas gift to them! The day gave me the opportunity to see the happy faces of my family smiling the whole day! It was great!!  Now, you can do the same thing for yourself, only instead of planning a party or an event, plan your life. What do you want in life? Write a plan that gets you what you want and then execute against the plan! Should I say that again? Nope...you've got it? Okay!

Only Nancy would give you a photographic collage of hand-written plans for a Christmas party! Maybe it doesn't help you, but it helps me. Remember, I'm still planning my future too! Sharing what I've learned here in this blog helps me for my future. What's Nancy's plan for the future? Well, I can't share all my secrets with you. I need to remain something of an enigma. Just know that I do have my plans and they are crazy looking. Besides lists (oh Lord...I love lists), I also use a little thing called Mind Mapping to help me think through ideas. I used to do this on paper too, but now I use an app on my iPad called iThoughts. Here is a sample Mind Map from iThoughts:

With a Mind Map you start with a main idea. In this case it's "iThoughts Help." From there, the subject branches off into more granular detail. Think of a linear outline. I have trouble putting my thoughts into an outline form because my mind just doesn't work that way. Mind Mapping is just another way to outline a subject or idea. I would then be able to translate the Mind Map above into a linear outline for my more straight-forward thinking friends!

So, do we have that straight now? Ask questions, make plans, write them down and then...okay, say it with me, "Execute against those plans!" Now, as in the repeated line of Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise (NCC-1701-D) on Star Trek: The Next Generation, "Make it so!" Until tomorrow, when GOD only knows what I'll write about, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 103

Is it okay if your personal renovation venture is on the verge of being called the 'Never Ending Project'? Here we are another day into this work that may never be completed. Every project is like a good story; there should be a beginning, a middle and an end. Since I can't see an end to this initiative, I thought I might have to stop referring to this as a 'project.' But what is in a name? Since I am the Customer, Brand, Project Manager and all of the team members rolled up into one person, I guess I can keep calling this work any thing I damn (watch out, Nancy! Gettin' a little frisky there with the language!!) well please! To me, projects are work and this is WORK! I have had a few days lately where I'm just dying to eat like I used to. What the heck (that's better) is the matter with me? Sometimes I think there must be something terribly wrong with me. Although I thought I was doing well portioning out the chef prepared foods, I think I'm going to have to take myself back to MyFitFoods and just stay there. This is too important to mess around with and waste time. I'm 54 for Pete's sake and so I don't have LOADS of time left to get it right.

It was another one of those days where I had to get up an hour earlier to be at work an hour earlier for a meeting this morning. I don't mind that, but I seem to have a problem staying asleep when I know I have to get up earlier than usual. I have an alarm set, but I still have some issues with waking up and checking out the clock. So, I was supposed to get up at 3:30am this morning, but instead I've been up since 2:30am. No wonder I'm tired and just want to eat the refrigerator.

If you've read all the blogs on this site, you know that I'm nuts and am working on improving myself. You may also have learned that I have a certain amount of passion for makeup, costumes, nail art and all the other stuff that comes with being a girl (yes, I'm still a girl). I read lots of makeup blogs from my favorite makeup artists (the best is lisaeldridge.com) as well as watch loads of makeup videos. Some are really fascinating for their artistic take on makeup and others are just plain helpful for me personally. I stopped wearing makeup in the 1980's because I suffer with Rosacea. Not rosacea, but ROSACEA! I have it in a big way. I'm lucky because it can be controlled with pills and topical ointment, but before the pills came along, I looked like this:

At the time I took this 'selfie' the only option my doctor could/would provide was a topical ointment (Metrogel). It could only help me to this point and it too burned me. You can see that it is all over my face, nose, chin even in my eyebrows! Let me just say that it is painful. I felt like my face was burning all of the time. Anyway, I wouldn't even attempt to put on makeup. However, I now see a dermatologist who is FABULOUS, by the way and she prescribed a pill (Oracea) that is FANTASTIC! With this little low-dose antibiotic I now look like this:

Yes, I was MUCH lighter in the rosacea picture (about 100 lbs. lighter) and I was younger (I was 5 years younger...and yes, we've been through weight loss before...**sigh**) but you have to admit, the skin part of my renovation project/program is working. I am able to wear makeup again and I'm really enjoying it. This is after more than 20 years not being able to even look at makeup, much less wear it! I love the pretty colors and seeing how the makeup enhances my appearance. I don't want to obliterate my skin, so I use a light touch as everyone should when it comes to foundation, but really, the meds are great! If you have rosacea or have anything on your face that looks like what I have above, GET THEE TO A DERMATOLOGIST...NOW!!! You too, can find relief. The medication isn't cheap, but I believe I am worth the investment. My quality of life is enhanced with the meds. Even with the extra weight on me, I still believe I look better today than I did 5 years ago. Maybe it's just because I know I can't go back and be 49 again, but I really do think I get better and better everyday that I work on my renovation. To refresh your memory, I'm working on: Eating, Exercise, Thinking, Skin and Teeth. Here is how I would rate my progress in each area on a scale of 1-5 (1=What? That was a goal; 2=I thought about the goal!; 3=I'm trying (weak word we don't use in this house) to improve!; 4=Progress is noticeable; 5=Poke me with a fork, I'm DONE!)

• Eating -- 4
• Exercise -- 4
• Thinking -- 2 (I couldn't help myself...I thought about the goal...HA!)
• Skin -- 5! (Yes, this is as good as it's going to ever be and I'm happy!)
• Teeth -- 4

Although I consider my work done with skin, I know that I have to continue what I've done and keep the good habits with the meds and the skincare. Also, the more weight I lose, the healthier my skin will be. It's all good! Thinking...I'm doing okay. I still have to remind myself of stuff all the time, but I am positive and I know I'm doing okay here, if not great. Eating and exercise will always be a challenge for me, so much so that I often wonder if how I deal with food and exercise is actually part of my genetic makeup...hmmm? Let's all think about that for a few minutes... Can I improve my score on 'Thinking' to a 4 now? Nope? Okay. **sigh**

Thats it from my playground! It was a genuinely lovely day and I'm so glad to have had the opportunity to see and share it with some lovely people. If you were missing, physically from my day, I missed you, but there is always tomorrow! Until then, keep your chin up, think about how great you are, eat when your hungry and stop when your full, take a little walk in the fresh air, wash and moisturize your pretty face and by all means, FLOSS YOUR TEETH!! There! That got all of the goals...can I claim improvement? Nope? Okay...  **big sigh**  and sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 102

Another gorgeous day for the record books here. The weeks are flying by and before you know it we will be on top of Halloween! I'm really sad not to be able to dress up this year. It just means that while I'm in Las Vegas with my sister, I'm likely to embarrass her in a big way with sparkly makeup. I should fit right in! *smile*

The day was fantastic and I'm so glad I got to be a part of it. I wanted to do some exercises in my office and so this is what I'm doing now about mid-day, right before lunch:

I can easily do this in my office. The link above is to the content on YouTube, but you can also purchase Leslie's videos online from many sources. Check out Amazon.com!  Love them!! I love Leslie Sansone and this 1 mile walk is great! I have her DVD that contains all 5 miles of this walk and I love doing that workout. So, no matter the weather or your condition, you can probably do at least the walking in place or 'Marching' as she sometimes calls it. I promise you, it will make a difference in how you feel when you've finished this short, 1 mile walk. Try and see what I mean, but remember to check with your physician before you take up any new exercises.

There are no soapboxes for me to stand on tonight. I need my rest before a big day tomorrow. Thanks for stopping by and checking on my progress. I'm doing fine and working hard to solve my problem: Portion Blindness. **sigh** My current method: measure 9 oz. When that amount of food is in the container on the scale, that's it! So far, so good. Now, until tomorrow when I'll be one day closer to my trip to Stamford, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 101

We have a firm foothold in the triple digits now! I'm so excited to be over 100 days into my personal renovation program. I'm learning lots about taking care of myself; better than I ever have. I'd love to tell you that I learned all of this when I was a kid from my parents, but alas I cannot. Bless their hearts, I know they were doing the best they could, but this is what happens when selfish people have children. They were always very concerned about making money. This was, of course, done in the name of 'taking care of the kids,' but what they failed to realize is that while they were making money, they were leaving behind children who were floundering in the world with few answers to life questions and unimaginable dangers. I thank God that at least they provided something of a foundation of faith, which I know has helped me more than anything in this life. You probably don't want to hear it, but this is my blog and I can say whatever I want. I know I don't deserve anything from God, but I'm thankful to know that He will never leave me alone. I may have to learn some things the hard way...I am a stupid human being, after all. But I'm not alone as I go through any of life's trials. This is comforting to me.

So, today was a very busy research and solve problems kind of day. I just love days like this, but it would have been nice to have been a bit more successful. Here is what I looked like today trying to fix everything:

Just working away in the office looking to heaven for the answers...I didn't always have any! Dang!! My foundation and lipstick looked great today!!

It's hard to realize sometimes that you just cannot fix everything. I want to, but some things have to be resolved by the people involved. Yes, I'm one of those people who wants to fix all of my friends problems. I'm not malicious about it, really I'm not. I just want to help. Sometimes, I can't. There are things that people have to do on their own. Plus, my methods are not always painless. What I've learned is that some life problems are likely to happen to me again if I don't have enough pain while fixing them. So, I've learned to put myself through lots of discomfort when resolving some issues that could come up again. That way, I'm less likely to allow the issue to happen the second time around. For instance, finances. Yes, I've had my share of financial difficulties in my life. Some of those difficulties I created myself (spend, spend, spend...) and some where thrust upon me (i.e. massive cut in pay to the tune of 66% for me and 50% for my husband all at once during the Savings and Loan collapse in the late 1980s in Texas). This required that both he and I be on the same page to make it through the financial crunch. We decided that we could make it if we cut out ALL unnecessary expenses. We were lucky that at the time we didn't have any loans except our mortgage, but the payment was huge (to us, anyway). So, we set a budget and were relentless to stay on it. We not only created the regular kind of budget where we set amounts in categories that we had to stay under, we also did a little thing I liked to call Zero Based Budgeting. This was my effort at making the whole experience into a game (if you stick around long you'll find that I'm all about the 'game' of everything). Anyway, the way it works is like this: You set up your categories and you set the spend amounts to zero. Then, you work to see how close to zero you can be at the end of the month. Obviously, groceries, utilities and mortgage are always going to have money spent, but every month where I beat the previous month I won the game! Now, I didn't get to reward myself with anything special, it was, at the time, enough for me to know that I had won. But the big win was I had extra money to pay down the principle of the mortgage. Little by little, even with that terrible time in our financial life, we were able to pay the mortgage off...8 years early! So, please don't try to tell me that you can't do it; live on less and have a GREAT life. I've been there and done that and I look back on that time as GREAT, because I learned just what we're made of. I'm no weak, limp, lily-livered, human being. I may be stupid about some things, but I can hoist up my bootstraps just as good as anybody and have a great life. Here are some of the things we did back in the day to keep ourselves going:

1. Used the public library to satisfy my need to go somewhere and pick up something new and bring it home. I checked out  books, videos and magazines and always had something new to entertain us.
2. Cut off the cable TV. We didn't have internet back then, but we have had computers since 1981, so we just played games that we owned already and enjoyed the computers. Sometimes we'd find games at the Half Price Book Store for a song (if we had an extra dollar) and that was great!
3. Ate all meals at home. There were only two of us back then and I was able to feed us for $50 a week! That was my budget and yes, I tried to get as close to zero as I could.
4. If something broke we fixed it ourselves with whatever we could come up with as a solution. We repaired the refrigerator at least once (with Vaseline...who knew!) and the dishwasher 3 times by ourselves.
5. We worked really hard to stay well. Take good care of things like teeth and such and try to not need the doctor as much as possible. It's real easy to think you don't have control over health, but you do. Yes, if we needed a doctor, we'd go, but we worked hard to stay healthy, too.
6. Initiated the 3 question solution. What is the 3 question solution, I hear you asking? Well, if we thought we needed something I would ask us these three questions before we proceeded with the purchase:
1. This thing that we think we need, will our lives be in jeopardy or will there be bloodshed if we don't have it? (If the answer is No, then stop right here...you don't really 'NEED' this thing! If the answer is Yes, then proceed to the next question.)
2. This thing that we think we need, can we make it ourselves? (If the answer is Yes, stop here and make the dang thing!! If the answer is No, then proceed to the next question.)
3. This thing that we think we need, can we borrow it from someone and then give it back after we clean it and make it nice for them? (If the answer is Yes, then borrow the thing and stop right here! If the answer is No, then shop for the best alternative and buy the dang thing and be happy because you REALLY need it.)
7. Communicated with each other. We talked through everything. Even the difficult things I didn't want to talk about; we talked through all of them. It was not always easy, but I always felt better when we just talked about whatever was going on. We were truly in the same boat, paddling in the same direction and caring for each other. That doesn't mean he was always happy with me or that I was always wild about him. But what do you think marriage is, anyway?

Okay, there is probably more that we did during those days, but I never let myself look at my situation and be sad. I saw it as my chance to see what I was made of. We didn't have much; there weren't any vacations; fancy anything or extras, but we had each other and our self respect. One of the most important things I learned back then is that my house, car, clothes, shoes, appearance nor anything else about me has a thing to prove in this life. I'm not racing with anyone and I don't look to other people around me for my values. Ultimately I make this life as easy or hard for myself as I like. I choose; life isn't just happening to me. What about you?

So that's my soapbox for today. Hey! Who tightened my rubber band today, anyway? Who knows!! Well, my work is done here for today. I'm off to enjoy some 'me' time before bed. Until tomorrow when I'll likely step onto some other grandstand, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Days 99 and 100

Well, after a long time away, we have the return of day skippage!  Yes, I skipped writing yesterday. Why? Because it was THE most gorgeous day I've seen in ages and I wanted to be out in it. So, I skipped writing and played outside until it just got too dark and cool to be out there by my self. You're right if you're thinking, "But then, you could write after that, right?" Well, yes I could have, but I instead indulged my weakness or Netflix and painted my nails while watching new episodes of "Say Yes To The Dress"! I just love seeing all those crazy women with different body shapes trying to spend ENORMOUS amounts of money on a wedding dress. Secretly, I would LOVE to have had a wedding where I got to buy a beautiful new dress, but at 22 and from a family (read 'poor' here) without means, I used a dress I had purchase earlier in the year for Easter, as my wedding dress. It was the nicest dress I had ever purchased. This was 1981 and it was the most money I had ever spent on a dress, $100! At the time, I had been on my own and taking care of myself for over 4 years, so I saved up the money and bought the lovely dress from Sanger-Harris in Dallas, Texas. It was an off-white, handkerchief hem chiffon dress with  a lovely iris print. The dress had a silk chiffon cream under dress with spaghetti straps, since the dress was so transparent. I thought the dress was beautiful; still think it is today. Below is a collage of me in the dress on October 3, 1981. Our wedding was in the Classical Revival (aka: Neoclassicism) Gazebo located in the square at Wooldridge Park in Austin, Texas.

We were married by Justice of the Peace, Mark Schreiber (just off camera). (Unfortunately, I've had to remove references to the groom at his request.)

Wow, that was a lot of story just to talk about wedding dresses. I know there are people who need the experience of trying on, buying and then wearing a long white wedding dress; so much so that they will spend a fortune to get it. Would it have been nice to have had that? Yes, it would have been. I wanted a wedding in a church with a long dress and cake, but the fact is, no Christian minster would marry me to my non-Christian groom. I was turned down by my own pastor and then two other churches in the Austin area, as well. Therefore, I decided on the JP and the park! I'll never, as long as I live, forget that day. I honestly never thought I would marry...anyone. Let me just say that should I ever be in a position to marry again, I honestly don't know what I'll do. All I know is, I'll look like me and hopefully, I'll be very happy.

One of the things I'm working on is how to style the clothes that I have in my wardrobe as I lose weight. Everything I have is still fitting...sort of, but some need safety pins to stay up...isn't that nice! But, I want to do a better job of putting the pieces together so that I maximize the use of each item. I have added a new black skirt to the mix that I picked up at Walmart yesterday for about $16. I wasn't planning to buy a skirt, but there it was and now I need to make it work in the wardrobe for the fall. So, here is a list (Boy, did I need to do a list!!) of the combinations I'll be doing with that skirt:

Styling a Black Pencil Skirt

Put the simple black skirt with...

1. A purple empire waist top with bead embellishment and pair with black, rhinestone studded flats.
2. A white cami under a white shark bite hem graphic top with white lace sleeves and rhinestones pared with black sling-back heals.
3. A black cami under a vibrantly colored striped chiffon top paired with black sling-back heals.
4. A black and white animal print cami under a black lace bodice top and pair with the black, rhinestone studded flats.

Here is my best attempt at showing these four styles:

Okay, so my photography still needs work. I am a work in progress all the time, you know! There are a couple of other options hanging in my closet that I didn't photograph. I've got a deep wine colored, cowl-neck top that I can put with the skirt and I also have a green burnout print top that I will be able to try on again on day 121, that should look nice. So, this skirt gave me options. Basically, I'm just replacing the skirt for a pair of black pants...all this works with the black pants, too!

As you may have read before, I'm not a fan of keeping LOADS of clothes, shoes and accessories around, but I do like the ability to mix and match items. I love all of my pieces and I wear them until they are worn out! Soon I'll be faced with having to replace items because the safety pin system no longer works. If the pieces are in good shape, I will donate. (I have shoes to donate now! We ALL make mistakes, you know!)

I've enjoyed days 99 and 100 so much that I want some more time-off, but that will come in early November. For now, I'm going to finish my laundry (you knew I was doing that didn't you!) read and enjoy the rest of day 100. I'll be back again tomorrow with more from the 365 day saga that is Nancy. Until then, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 98

Do we love Friday? Yes, I think we do!! Another one is just about gone, and it was a great day. The weather seems to have stabilized at nice with a little rain. Tomorrow we'll have rain while I do the marketing and then mostly sunny with a high in the low 70's. I'll take it!

The short workout that I shared with you from FitnessBlender on YouTube in the day 97 blog posting, knocked my socks off! There really are some moves that my body simply will not do! I ended up marching or jogging in place...a lot! The nice thing is, it doesn't matter. What really matters is I gave it my best and kept going for the entire length of the workout, which was quite short. My bare minimum workout routine is something, anything at least every other day. The more activity I have the better I feel. My struggle is with time...it seems to fly by!

I worked today and some yesterday on the second chapter of my story, The Box. I have some goals about how much I want to get done over the next week, but I don't want to write them down because it always makes me feel like I've accomplished the goal when I write it down. Somehow I get the satisfied feeling of an accomplishment and then I fail to meet the goal. So, just know I have some goals, but I'm not putting them down in here. It's kind of like with the weight loss; I have goals I just don't want the feeling they have been achieved before they really have! You with me?

I'm still fighting major food cravings. I'm not sure why, but I'm also struggling with trying to figure out what it is that I really want to eat. Basically, I want everything! It may actually be a need to chew and possibly a need for something crunchy, but nothing seems to satisfy me over the last few days. The best thing for me at this time is to keep busy. As my sister says, "Just keep it moving, Nancy, Just keep it moving!" I know I'll figure it out, but in the meantime, it's a struggle.

I'm eager for the weekend. Thanks for stopping by to check on my progress. Until tomorrow when you'll hear all about the woes of marketing, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 97

The days keep rolling along! I am so sad that I'll be on a business trip and won't be able to do special makeup and costumes for Halloween this year! **sigh** That hasn't stopped me from watching tons of my favorite people on YouTube with their clever ideas for makeup and costumes. Today I watched Julia Graf, one of my all-time favorite YouTubers, do a Harley Quinn makeup that is just wonderful. I could so wear this just because it's beautiful. When I recreate it (you know I will) I'll be sure to post a snap. For now, please watch Julia and by the way, go over and SUBSCRIBE to her right now! Don't wait...go...subscribe...now...

I've noticed that there are loads of people doing different versions of this look on YouTube, but Julia's take on Harley Quinn is the best. She's tops with makeup! Not to mention that she's just drop-dead gorgeous!! Julia also has another channel on YouTube  called TheThirdShift. I love all her videos. She worked hard on her health and fitness and I was so very inspired by her success. Julia was never quite out of hand like me, but she was in a place where she wanted better health and physical appearance and she went out and did the hard to work to get it. I admire her for that. There are some other people on YouTube that I love watching and I'll try to share their videos as I can find space in the blog.

Today was a fine weather day, but I was in the office pounding away trying to solve problems and understand the finer details of our business. I love that I get to do a wide variety of things and every single day there is something new to tempt my creativity. The work really keeps me busy and able to stay out of the kitchen/break room. Lately, I've been really hungry all the time and I'm not sure why. It may be due to many reasons, but I want to get that under control quickly.

Exercise is going fine. Tonight I'll do a FitnessBlender routine that I've been wanting to try. Since it is one that seems very good for beginners (or really heavy people like myself) I'm sharing it here for your enjoyment. By the way, I wouldn't suggest doing Julia's makeup above and then trying to do the FitnessBlender routine. I'm thinking exercise and red/black makeup won't go well together! **smile**

This one is short, less than 10 minutes, but sometimes I just need to do a few minutes and this video I think will help me keep my intensity up. I hope you are able to join me in doing at least what you can. Of course, please make sure you have the approval of your health professional before taking on any exercise program!

Thanks for stopping by for some makeup fun and exercise suggestions. FitnessBlender is on YouTube and everyone should be subscribing and using their videos! I'm doing fine and looking forward to day 120, when I share photos of my progress. Now, I want to have some fun with the video above before it gets too late! Until tomorrow when it will be FRIDAY once again, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 96

It was so cool today I needed a light jacket. You just don't know how happy that made me. The weather is finally taking a turn to cooler temperatures and I hope it stays this way. Somehow, I know there will be more heat, but I'm okay as long as we can have a few more cool days like today. I must say that losing weight does make the heat easier to bear. I'm actually looking forward to next summer when I should be at least half of the way to were I want to be. Half of the way...what is half the way? What is my goal? Do you remember? Yes, I want to feel healthy and I do now, which means I've achieved that vellum-ey goal. Now, I think I need to start nailing down a few numbers. I've avoided the scales, but now I have to give the starting number and get ready to provide the current number when I get to Day 120 (as I promised in an earlier blog). Okay, so here it is. When I started this on Day 1, July 13, 2013, I weighed in at something over 310 lbs. I can't believe I'm saying it, but yes, I was over 310 lbs. The scale wouldn't really handle more than 300 lbs., so I'm sure it was more than that. I will weigh again on Day 120. After that there will be two more weigh-ins; one at Day 240 and the last at Day 365. I would love to be sitting at 180 lbs. on Day 365, but I honestly will be happy with whatever the scale says. Again, the scale is only one way to judge success here. I'll still be trying on clothes from my collection in ever smaller sizes and taking pictures to show the progress.  That is happening on Day 120, too!! A big day that!!

I walked today on the treadmill and enjoyed every minute of it. Tomorrow I would like to do some more FitnessBlender as it really challenges me. If you haven't been over to YouTube to check out their channel, be sure to take a look. They are great!

Now, it is getting late and I've no extra time to blog. Eating was good and I'm happy with the results there. As much as I love cooking, I'm actually loving being a non-cook for a change. I may never cook another meal as long as I live! I guess we'll see how that goes. Until tomorrow, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 95

Wow! I'm just screaming down the lefthand lane of October with apparently NO BRAKES!!  Half the month is officially gone and I'm nowhere near ready for the second half. There is so much to do in the next few weeks including high-power visitors in my office next week, travel for two weeks after that to Stamford, CT and Las Vegas, NV. During all the travel is Halloween (which is generally a big deal around my house...okay...just me) and I will not be decking myself out this year. However, in honor of Halloween and to share just how nutty my costume obsession can get, here is a little collage of my costumes over the past few years:

(Clockwise from top left) A Scary Ghost; The Andromeda Galaxy; The Dark Fairy Queen; Madame Butterfly

Out of all these costumes, Madame Butterfly was my favorite. I had about 50 silk butterflies glued to my body or on wire coming out of my hair. The makeup is ALWAYS a big part of my costumes. It is like being a little girl all over again, except only better because I have more disposable income now. **smile** I always make my own costumes and I get ideas from all over the place. The Ghost costume (which my son hated and said I could never do again...he said it was against my nature too much) I made out of two long sheer curtain panels that I ripped into strips and hot glued to a white T-shirt. Then I wore white shorts underneath. The rod pocket at the top of the curtains I ripped off and then put a ribbon through the pocket to make a collar for the costume which covered up the top row of glued on strips. I was SCARY! Boo!! You're very afraid!! You can't see all the costume for the Andromeda Galaxy, but besides the galaxy face makeup, I had the galaxy on my shirt and pants and had about 30 rhinestone pins in my BLACK (yes, I dyed it...a subject that could fill another blog)  hair, and yes, I still have some of the dark color left in my hair and that was 2 years ago! Anyway, no costume this year since I'll be in Stamford at my company headquarters and they don't do Halloween there like we do down here. This year I was going to be a Jelly Fish! Think about it, the idea will grow on you. Maybe next year!

Yes, I may be crazy, but I sure do have a good time. Give me some makeup, a few scraps of cloth and some hot glue and watch out! I'll have you dressed up like Lady Godiva or something before you know it...dressed up like Lady Godiva...HA, HA, HA!!  Sorry...made myself laugh there!!

So, it is already 8pm and I've got to keep myself on track with getting to be at 8:30pm. I've got to admit that it sure makes getting up at 4:30am much easier when you've gotten to bed and had 8 hours of sleep. Who knew!?! Okay, everyone but me, apparently. There's so much I wanted to say today, but it will just have to wait till tomorrow. Just know that it was a fine day and I was happy with the results. Until tomorrow, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 94

Another gloomy, rainy day in the neighborhood, but welcomed all the same. We have needed this for so long. Pardon the pun, but it really is just a drop in the bucket of what we need. **smile** So, I was indoors, of course, working all day, but was able to get a peek at the storms as they passed through the area. I love gloomy, rainy. It makes me appreciate happy, sunny all the more.

Today's exercise of choice was a video selection from the FitnessBlender folks. It will probably take me a good year to be able to do the exercises as well as they do, but I have goals and each time I get a little better at it. You can't expect to be over 100 lbs. over weight and think you're going to fly through these exercises like the young, fit girl doing them in the video! For heaven's sake!! So, here is the workout I did today (kicked me in the a**, it did!):

These guys have the best workout videos around. They are challenging and there are a wide variety of workouts available; all on YouTube! They also have packages of workouts that you can buy. I've looked at them and they look great, but for now, I'm good with the YouTube options. This one is challenging in some specific ways. First, I can't get my leg up as high as she can when doing the side lifts. Also, I'm not quite a fast as she is when doing the squat punches, but hey! I'm 54 and not fit and she's 24 and totally fit. Talk about opposites! But, I'm working to get as close to where she is, fitness wise, as I can. If I have nothing else, I have the wisdom to listen to my body as I work to become fit. My body tells me when I need more of a challenge. It also tells me when I need to slow down or change what I'm doing. Just listen...your body it's saying something to you, too. (By the way, make sure you have the okay from your physician before starting any exercise program.)

I've been really hungry all day. I wish I understood what drives this. Over the last few days I've been eating small meals that I put together using Chef Prepared foods from Central Market. The food is very tasty and there are grilled vegetables, salads and grilled meat, chicken and fish options available. The main benefit of purchasing the food this way is the cost. It is much less expensive. I calculated the last batch to be less than $4 per meal. MyFitFoods is GREAT! But expensive. The average cost is over $7 per meal. It adds up fast! When you're feeding 3 people you can feel the pinch pretty quickly. The other thing that buying the food prepared like this is helping me with is the portioning. I'm not cooking the food, so I'm not in there adding butter and salt, but I have to create the right portions, so it forces me to weigh and measure what I'm doing. I've learned to portion the food as soon as I get it home. That way it's easy to grab a meal when it's time to eat. Portion practice is really important. I STILL don't seem to be able to see what a right amount of food is without measuring. I hope I get better at this before one of us dies!

Thanks for stopping by the blog. You'll never know how much it helps me to sit down and write these few words or share videos that make me sweat, smile or think. I want everyone in the world who are challenged in the same ways I am to know that they have the power to resolve these issues. If I can do it, so can you!! There is nothing special over here about me. Don't tell me you can't walk or do the YouTube workouts! Neither could I 94 days ago!! It all starts with doing just one thing and adding to that one little thing every day. Before you know it, that one little thing = 40 lbs. lost and more flexibility, mobility and general fitness. Believe me, I can't do some of the things they do in the videos. When that happens, I just march or jog in place. Yes, it's frustrating, but everyday I do a little bit more and feel a little bit better. God! I'm ranting now!!  Who turned my switch on???  Okay, so use your power to make your life what you want. Write a plan for what you want your future to be and then execute against that plan. Don't let yourself forget the plan. I promise you'll make progress. Oh, and by the way, DON'T EVER GIVE UP!!

That's enough ranting and raving for one day. Until tomorrow when I'll probably find some other soapbox to stand on, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 93

It has been raining for about 12 hours now (now is 8am Sunday, October 13, 2013). Boy, did we need it! Over 7 inches of rain fell in the last 12 hours where I live. Other parts of the metropolitan area received more than 11 inches of rain! It is really great to see. I'll enjoy this day of domestic life while watching the quiet gloom of overcast skies. What are all the things I might do on a cloudy, rainy, gloomy day like today? Well, I've been dying to make a list, so this is as good an excuse as any I can think of, so here goes!

All The Things I Can Think Up in 5 Minutes To Do On A Gloomy Day

1. Clean the house - This isn't the #1 thing I'd do, but I wanted to get the obvious out of the way.
2. Laundry - Yes, right up there with 'Clean the house' on the excitement scale.
3. Read - Ahhhh...now we're cookin' with gas!
4. Watch TV - Okay, not my favorite, but there might be something good on to watch.
5. Write - Yes, I'm doing that right now. **smile**
6. Reorganize something - Hmmm...a closet? A drawer?? A desk, maybe?!? The possibilities are endless around here!!!
7. Play a board game - Will someone play a board game with me, please? Umm...that would be a NO!
8. Bake a Cake - In the Latin words of Virgil, "Agnosco veteris vestigia flammae", which translated means, "I recognize the vestiges of an old flame."
9. Eat - Oh, I've got my radar on trying to make sure we have none of that! Well, to excess anyway.
10. Rearrange the furniture - I'm well known for this one, but I'm not in the mood.
11. Surf the web - Yep, I'll probably do lots of that!
12. Shop online - Uh huh! I'll probably do some of that!!
13. Watch YouTube videos - Maybe!
14. Work on voicing over my story - Yep!! That's something to do!! (Be sure to see more about voiceovers below.)
15. TAKE A NAP!! - Need I say more?

Okay, 5 minutes are up! So, I can come up with 15 things do to on a GLOOMY day in 5 minutes. That seems like too short of a list to me!! I'll have to work on that...which means of course, you'll be seeing future time trials. I know you just can't wait for that!! 

In the list I mentioned voiceovers and speaking of that, I found this video on YouTube of British voiceovers of animals. Giggly stuff! Watch and laugh...Be sure to watch to the end, it really is funny!

Okay, so I've had fun today. This blog has been written throughout the entire day; a little here, a little there. The laundry is washed, folded and put away and I've enjoyed watching (more listening to than watching, really) some old movies. Now it's time to start getting ready for bed. There are a few things to do to get ready for sleep and I promised I'd go to bed at 8:30pm to get up well rested at 4:30am. So, until tomorrow when it will be another lovely day in the neighborhood, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 92

I think every mosquito in Austin, Texas had a taste of me today. I decided to take a walk outside this evening and I guess I looked like the Blue Plate Special to the mosquitoes! I have so many bites on my legs, arms and back that I'm overwhelmed with the desire to scratch. I know it won't last long, but I just hate these pests! I love to be outside, but the mosquitoes are the one thing that will make me rethink that desire. Had I known it was going to be so bad, I probably would have stayed inside and walked on the treadmill. I'll be swabbing my bites with alcohol all night! My sisters husband swears by alcohol for EVERYTHING! Don't feel good? Alcohol rubdown. Got a bug bite? Alcohol rubdown. Coming down with a cold? Alcohol...well, you get the picture!! The funny thing is, it actually works! Dang!! I hate when the men are right. They get that 'I'm right 'cause I'm a man' look about them and walk around all tall and powerful. Dang IT!!

Today was a gorgeous day. I went shopping for a pair of shoes to replace a pair that I cannot wear while I'm on a business trip at the end of the month. I needed a pair of brown shoes anyway. I wanted some loafers that would be low healed and comfortable and I found just the thing (dang it! I have to keep stopping to scratch!) at DSW. A day or so ago, I got a coupon in the mail for $20 off if I spent $49. Well, I spent $49.90 and came out with a great pair of AK Anne Klein iflex Loafers in brown and two pairs of Anne Klein sox (nice sox, too!). They are soooo comfortable and will work perfectly with all the brown and cream I added to my wardrobe the last time I bought clothes. I've been trying to do less black and with my coloring, brown is better anyway. So, now I have my new shoes! That meant a pair of shoes had to go. I have rules about clothes and shoes. I cannot and WILL NOT have shoes and clothes more than I can use. So, I have room for 16 pairs of shoes, 6 pairs of flip-flops and 3 pairs of athletic shoes.  Honestly, I don't know how anyone can use even this many pairs of shoes, but I manage somehow. Anyway, I had to make the decision to let go of something. This was a hard decision, but the pair of hot pink Converse sneakers that have been taking up space in my shoe hanger for a year without being worn will be donated. There are a couple of other pairs of shoes that might go with that pair, but I'll decide that later in the week.

The day also included a trip to Sephora and a short trip to the auto parts store to get the new break shoes for my car. I've driven it for the last time until someone looks at and fixes the breaks.

The rest of the day will be just resting and doing what I want, whatever that is. I might watch a video or read a book. I don't know yet. I'm taking this weekend easy and trying to just enjoy myself and get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. Funny how much better you feel when you get the right amount of sleep. Hmmm...I'll bet it was a man who made up that you need 8 hours of sleep every night!  Dang!!! So until tomorrow when you get to hear about my laundry (yippie!!), sweet dreams, Sweeties!!!

Day 91

This was a much better day for me. Yesterday was wrong, just...wrong. I felt unwell and achey and...well...just wrong. Today was a whole different story. Why? Because I got some rest. I really think that I've been cutting it too close in the area of sleep and it finally just bit me in my a**. I have a self imposed schedule and when I explained it to my sister her reaction was, "What? Why???" Although I know you're going to say the same thing, I'll explain.  I don't have a long commute to work Monday through Friday, but what there is of it can be very stressful. If you ever check out my YouTube channel, you'll find 5 videos of my commute home following 5 different paths. I made those videos because traffic makes me nuts. It seems like I'm  completely surrounded by selfish, hateful drivers who can't seem to understand that driving is not and I repeat NOT a full-contact sport!! I LOVE driving. No, I didn't say I "liked" it, I said LOVE IT and there are times when driving to work makes me want to stop driving! To avoid driving these feelings, I have to leave my home for the office by 6:30am. This is so I can be in my office by 7am and be able to leave by 4pm. The 4pm drive home is also better. Just 15 minutes later at either end will be bad. In order to leave the house by 6:30am, I need to be up getting ready by 4:30am. Yes, that's right, I need 2 hours to get ready for work. So, in order to get enough rest/sleep I need to be in bed by 8:30pm during the weekdays. So, go ahead, ask me how many times I've been to bed by 8:30pm. The answer to your question is, "None!" I'm usually in bed by 10:30pm and that 2 hours simply caught up with me yesterday. It literally made me sick. I'm kind of ashamed, but it cost me a vacation day to just get the rest I needed to feel better. Go ahead, you can say it, "Stupid girl!" Yes, I'm humbled. I talked it over with my sister and the answer is easy. I like the schedule, so I have to get to bed on time starting Sunday night!

This means that I'll be starting the writing of my blog each day now during my lunch hour at work. I usually eat lunch at my desk working, but that's time I'm giving my company that they don't really ask for. Since I like to be busy, the blog will help me accomplish that and free up evening time so I can get to bed earlier. Also, since the days are getting shorter, it should be easy for me to get to bed by 8:30 since it won't feel like it's too early. I've set an alarm on my laptop to help keep me on schedule and I know everything will be okay.

So, enough with my schedule woes! The day was great and I was able to visit my FAVORITE grocery store on earth, Central Market on North Lamar in Austin. It's about 30 minute drive from my house, so this isn't a place I shop often, but honestly it is a palace to the best foods on earth. I had a great time and really just enjoyed setting up the food for this week. They have a HUGE selection of chef prepared foods and I was able to put together 11 meals for less than $4 per meal! My husband and I had some for supper tonight and it was delicious. I also repainted my nails again. The last set lasted about like the set before them did; about 2 seconds. So here are my 'stand in' nails (which just means I'll wear them until they chip):

I've got to do something about the lighting in here! The pink on these nails is a Sinful Color called "24/7" and is the most neon pink you've ever seen, but in this light...well...you see what lighting can do for or to you! Good thing I like paining my nails. So I'll call this simple design: "Pink On The Dot!"

Today I had a normal breakfast, lunch was a Lean Cuisine and supper was the chef prepared meal from Central Market. I was hungry all day today, so I'm still not quite sure what's causing that. I just need to keep working at my problem: Portions! That's where my focus is and that's where it has to stay.

Tomorrow will be a day to sleep in for once since the groceries are all done! Then I'll probably do some other shopping that I need to get out of the way. I wish my sister Gena was here to go with me hold my hand. I'm not a very good shopper, but this has got to be done before I travel soon. I'll be fine, but if you're in Austin, Texas this weekend and you see a woman bolt from a store with that "I'm totally overwhelmed" look on her face, you may have just witnessed my escape! Yes, I've actually done that before. So, until tomorrow, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 90

Can positive changes be accomplished in just 90 days? The short answer is yes; changes are clearly possible. In this tiny quarter of a year (we'll call it "Q1"), what hasn't changed is my distorted view of where I was and where I want to be. I don't know if this is a product of my experiences or of the world around me, but I don't think I actually see myself correctly. Maybe it's that it's just too painful a reality, but I find myself looking in the mirror and thinking, "If I look this horrible 90 days along, how much worse was I before?" That's when I have to go back to the photos to remind myself of just how horrible it was and still is. What occurred in my life that caused all this to happen? Something went terribly wrong along the way and I wish I understood what it was. I get that I can't change what is past, but I just want to understand myself.

The work to renovate me goes on. Today at the office we served a HUGE Mexican food lunch to our associates. I did not partake of the food. It was hard because I love Mexican food. I love that my company does these wonderful things for the employees and I think it's fantastic to get to  know new people through these events, but I'm so over eating like a crazy person. I know that I will always have food issues, but they don't have to rule my life.

Most days I feel just great, but today was actually not one of them. I suppose everyone has to have an off day. So this was mine! I wasn't sick and so I went to work just like I always do (I have personal rules about that...stick around, I'm sure you'll hear about them), but I was not my normal self all day. Because of this, I elected to take the day off tomorrow. I really just think I need some rest and free-time for myself. When I got home from work, I took two Acetaminophen (the only pain reliever I'm allowed to take) and went to bed for a couple of hours. I got up at 7:30pm and felt much better; maybe not great, but better. I had supper with my husband and watched one of the video programs he uses to try to convince me that the universe was not created by God. He should give up that work. The program is interesting, but completely based on what someone thinks happened to create our universe! These guys guess like mad but try to make us think they know all this stuff. I'm not sure which turnip truck they think I fell off of, but I can assure you, it wasn't me! The universe and all other universes, should they exist were and are created by God. That's that! I think it's all fascinating, but I don't have to know anything more than that. However it is that God decided to do the creating is his business.  God is in charge.

I am not exercising today since I didn't feel well all day. I'm already better, so tomorrow I'll be back to normal. Again, I'm not stressing out about this because although I'm blogging about my 365 day personal renovation, there are no time limits placed on me in any way. The blog gives me a way to document what I'm doing and share the experience. I'd really like to help other people never have to go through this experience, but I just don't know how. At least if I write about it, others can read and learn what uncontrolled eating and no exercise will get you.

This is one of those "no pictures" kind of blog entries. My work was fulfilling today, but there are always opportunities to be either great or lousy on the job. I'm stewing about one of those right now. Let's just hope that in the end, I find the right way to handle this particular opportunity and just do the right thing. For now, I'm just trying to work out the best response. Until tomorrow when we will venture together into the area I'll call Q2 (second quarter of the year), sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 89

Almost a quarter of the renovation time has passed and I'm feeling better than ever!  Today was an average day at work. I got things done and we continued with our celebration of Customer Service week. Today, we served Nachos, Popcorn and Snow Cones to all our associates and I really think everyone had a good time. We called it game day and everyone wore their favorite team jersey and there were board games all over the place for people to play during breaks and lunch. Lots of fun!! Oh, yes, I was in charge briefly for making nachos. Yes, I had 3 chips. No, I skipped the cheese sauce. **Smile**

I love Wednesdays! They are generally not a day that I do my nails, but sadly the "Twinkle-Twinkle Peri-Winkle" nails I did last weekend did not last. That's okay as it is an opportunity to support Breast Cancer Awareness month (October) by applying a nail design in honor of all those women who have fought or will fight the disease. I recreated a design from one of my favorite nail artists from YouTube, elleandish. She calls her design, "Breast Cancer Awareness Nails" and here is the video of her design:

She is clearly better than me at this, but I thought her design was so cute. Here are some snaps of my re-creation of her design on my funky nails:

The yellow lighting made the colors look orange! They are in fact, pink. All I can say is, "Thank You ellenadish (Janelle) for the great, easy to recreate design." Maybe these will last longer than 2 seconds!!

We are in the process of setting up new cell phone service and transferring our current home phone number to a cell phone. If you ever decide to do this, be aware that it is not a painless experience. It's taken more than 2 weeks to be completed. I think we're all set now, but we'll see. Wish us luck!

Food and exercise is less and less of a conscious effort. There are still cravings with food and just like a smoker would crave a cigarette. One of the things I decided to do was to find something that I could eat or drink that would satisfy my stomach when it (or is it my brain?) keeps telling me, "You're hungry!" One item I've found is buttermilk. Okay, you don't like buttermilk so this may not work for you, but I love it. Buttermilk is low in fat and tastes great! It also is very filling, the protein keeps my stomach busy and the effect on me if similar to that of warm milk...it makes me sleepy. So, when I'm home (can't easily find buttermilk just everywhere) and my stomach/brain starts that, "You're hungry!" thing, I will sometimes drink a small glass (8 oz. or less) of buttermilk and so far, it's worked at satisfying that feeling! I will be working to identify other more portable solutions, but for now we have buttermilk!! You should try it!! Think of thin yogurt. It has active cultures like yogurt and that's what it tastes like, but being that I grew up here in Texas and had farmer grandparents (my mother's family were farmers and my grandfather was a Blacksmith) I was served buttermilk regularly. I can remember being a little girl and visiting my maternal grandparents on weekends. My grandmother (Mamaw, we called her and grandfather was Papaw) would always serve a huge meal at lunch time on Sunday. That was traditional for after church. The meal always had cornbread served with it and the evening meal (supper, we called it...heck, I still call it that) on Sunday was usually cornbread and buttermilk! I watched Papaw crumble his cornbread into his buttermilk and eat it out of the tall glass with a long handled iced tea spoon. I love those memories and buttermilk! I would love to have the cornbread, but it's just a little too rich for me now. A good stand in, if I want that old-timey taste of cornbread and buttermilk, is to have corn chips with the buttermilk. I use the baked ones to control the fat. It's good!! Also, let me just say this about Texas cornbread: No, it is not supposed to have sugar in it!! Cornbread is a savory, quick bread, NOT a cake!! I'd pass you a recipe, but I'm not doing that anymore. **Sigh**

Okay, so that's my trip down memory lane. I'm sure you'll hear more and more about my family as time goes by. Hang in there! Maybe by learning more about my family I won't be so scary any more. So, until tomorrow when I will hit my 90th day of 'Renovation Project: Nancy', sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

Day 88

Since today was the second of a 5 day celebration of Customer Service Week at my office, everyone was asked to wear a crazy hat and eat lots of candy. Leadership hosted a long table in the break room that was beautifully decorated (don't know by whom, but they did well) and provided lots of candy of all kinds. Yes, I had a couple of bites of candy. I'm not proud of myself, except that I kept it to the following:

1. One, dark chocolate kiss. (Yes, really! Just ONE!)
2. One, mini peanut butter cup. (**Sigh** Again, just one.)
3. Five, peanut M&Ms. (I held out my hand and was given 5, so I ate them. What can I say? I'm a lemming!)

Nope, not proud that I ate this, but I couldn't stand it. I needed to support the associates in my company and so I had to stand there with my tiara on (what, you don't wear a tiara at work?) and I couldn't do it without having a little something. It really wasn't much AND I didn't even really like it. The dark chocolate was actually not tasty, the M&Ms were okay, but I just thought, "Meh! It's okay," and the mini peanut butter cup (my favorite) tasted like a mint! Weird!! I didn't feel let down, I just decided that I'd consider future treats with a more critical eye.

The rest of the day was filled with general work. There are always problems to solve and meetings to attend. I have a report that I do each week that I was hoping for a bit of information to include by today, but I'm still waiting on it. I don't like having to depend on others, but it can be a necessity.

Exercise tonight was made up for 22 minutes on the treadmill walking to the following playlist:

Shoo-Shoo Baby - The Andrews Sisters

Horse With No Name - America

Confusion - Electric Light Orchestra

Flowers On The Wall - The Statler Brothers (This tune puts some pep into my step!)

Let's Groove - Earth, Wind and Fire

Dramophone - Caravan Palace

Then I did the 9 min. 4 sec. FitnessBlender video linked to my blog yesterday. The Beginner Kickboxing video! That really gets me going!! I enjoyed every minute of the exercise today. I hope to be able to take a walk in the morning at work. I know my early (7am) meeting has been cancelled, so maybe I'll have my missing data for my report and can get that out. When I do, off I'll go for a celebratory walk!

I hope you're having a GREAT time where you are. It's time for me to get moving and prepare myself for bed. I wonder what new and exciting experience I'll have tomorrow? Who knows, but until then, sweet dreams, Sweeties!!

P.S. Notice I successfully snuck 2 lists into this blog! HA, HA, HA, HA...#MadeYouLook!!! :)

Day 87

Monday, Monday! It was a nice day in Central Texas. Work was great, but a little interrupted by a quick trip to do a face-to-face meeting with the MetroPCS guys that were supposed to port over a digital phone number to a new cell phone. I had trouble reaching these guys on the phone, so I had to leave the "If I don't hear from you within the hour, you're going to see me" message. They got to see me!! When I walked in the door, the guy knew exactly who I was and was already apologizing. It was weird, but he is taking care of the issue. I've already been contacted with the news that the port over was confirmed by the old carrier. It seems that this office of MetroPCS is in the same predicament as me, as they are moving their office phone service to someone else and they just got the ability to listen to their voice mail today. Okay...I'm a forgiving person.  So, this either is resolved tomorrow or he get's to SEE me a final time. *smile* And I won't be smiling this time.

This week is Customer Service week and it is celebrated globally by my company. I'd explain what we do for our associates to help them understand just how much we appreciate the care they give to our customers, but then I'd have to kill you because you'd know WAY too much about the stupid side of me. Oh, wait a minute...you already know that from this blog. I'll just say that the week involves me and other leaders dressing up in funny clothes, serving various special meals and snacks and giving out bunches of prizes! Yes, I work in a REALLY fun place.

I wanted to share with you a bit about a great alternative that I've found for exercise. Now, you know I love me some walking outside and on the treadmill. I also like a nice sweaty workout on the elliptical trainer, however I also love the workout videos I've found on YouTube posted by FitnessBlender.  These folks are GREAT! Here is a workout that I can do in my office or just about anywhere, that's just great. The video is less than 10 minutes, but when I do it it takes me right at 10 minutes with a bit of warm up and cool down. This is somewhat of a 'beginner's' workout. They have stuff in videos that I can't even try...YET! Enjoy!!

By the way, I've learned that 3-6, 10 minute workouts sprinkled throughout the day is almost as good as a 30-60 minute all-at-once session. I feel just as good and so will you. Also, if you're just starting out, please make sure you're physician gives you the 'okay' to exercise and know you're own limits. If you can only do 1 minute of this, then only do 1 minute. Work up to it and before you know it you'll be passing everyone else saying things like, "Eat my dust slow-poke!!" Or whatever you might say when you pass someone up while exercising. Anyway, you catch my drift. Exercise makes me feel great and really it is the one thing that I just don't want to do without. By the way, check out FitnessBlender on YouTube and subscribe for more great workouts!

It's getting to be that time when I need to get some rest. The day has been a good one, but I'm really tired now. Until tomorrow when we all get to get up and do it all again...sweet dreams, Sweeties!!