Days 254 and 255

What should I do with my hair?

Just 110 days until I have completed the year of blogs that were supposed to end with Nancy being a fraction of her former self! Although there is still time to establish good habits, I'm unlikely to be a size 8 within the next 110 days! Let's just hope that the previous 255 days have not been an investment in futility.

I've had to step back a little and evaluate my motivation and ask myself if the same goals still apply 255 days later. Yes, I'm a frustrating person, but you'll get used to me. After all of the evaluating, questioning and thinking, I can easily identify exactly what I want. The list is short and there is a list, because I just work better with a list. So, here it is the Top 5 Things Nancy Wants:

1. I want to eat what I want; when I want; however I want it.
2. I want to eat without having to analyze the food to death.
3. I want to be so normal that I don't stand out in a crowd...at all.
4. I want all of the elements of my blood work to be safely in range.
5. I want to never have to set foot into a specialty shop for clothes ever again in my life!

Now, the list above is just food related. One of the things that I've really struggled with is the question: "Why am I having problems with food?" I think I make things harder for myself than they should be. Down deep inside, I feel like I should be able to wake-up one morning and be normal; that it shouldn't be so hard for a person like me to correct these problems. But clearly the problem is insurmountable. Does everyone struggle with problems the way I do? I get myself so worked up into agony over the subject, that all I can think about is comfort food. It's truly a vicious circle!! Also, at what point in my life will I ever be full? I'm sick to the death of sight of soy beans. Yet, if they were available, I'd probably eat some, even though I'm not interested in them at all and I'm not even hungry!! Where does this problem with eating when I'm not hungry come from?

As you can see, I have many, MANY issues to resolve with questions oh-plenty that need answers. We will see how it goes. For now, I'm off to complete some much needed restful skin treatments.  Until tomorrow when I'll share more about the aging experience that is Nancy's life, Godspeed, Voyagers!!